According to researchers at Utah State University, nearly 60 percent of all marriages suffer from tension with mothers-in-law, normally between the daughter-in-law and her husband’s mother.

The stat above may have been provided from a different social terrain, but its import is just as relevant around here, maybe even more.

Mothers-in-law in this part of the world have over time become famed for being meddlesome, disruptive, overbearing and trying to exert too much influence on the marriages of their sons.

It goes without saying that while the above stat certainly has its merits, there are mothers-in-law who are nothing like the profile painted above.

Regardless, there have been far too many stories and so many wives have experienced tension with their spouse’s mums [and sometimes, husband’s female siblings] for this to be an issue to scoff at.

You can win over the affection of both your mother-in-law and other women in his family.

good reasons why you should try to be good friends with your mother-in-law, now we provide helpful advice on how you can do so.

1. You can’t replace her

You also cannot wish her away. So the best thing to do is to make the best of the situation and with all genuineness, try to be on great terms with her because, in all fairness, we can’t deny that some mothers-in-law aren’t particularly saints, too.

Even at that, you could try to turn her son’s back on her but that would, more often than not, backfire spectacularly. And even if it doesn’t, is that the kind of person you’d rather be? Is that the kind of thing you’d wish your future daughter-in-law do to you?Your in-laws can be your friends. They could take you as a daughter. It does not always have to be bad blood between wives and in-laws. [Credit: Money Matters With Nimi]

2. You need her on your side

Your mother-in-law on your side takes a lot of worries off your chest and as crazy as this may sound, makes your romantic relationship with her son a lot better than if she’s against you.

3. Your husband would love you more

Because men always favour peace of mind over all other things, it would make your man very happy if his mum and you are on very good terms as opposed to having to pick sides and squash squabbles low key resentment all the time.

4. You both want the same thing

In essence, as a wife and mother-in-law, you are both guided by the same things – love and best wishes for the same man. So it does not make sense to be on opposing sides if you can help it.You and her want the same thing and that is to see your man happy. This should increase your chances of actually bonding

5. For your relationship support system

In every romantic relationship, a couple would always need support systems; a number of people to whom they could go for advice and assistance when their relationship issues get a little out of hand and communication seems to not be doing the job.

It’d be fantastic to have your man’s parents, mum especially mum, in this group. Men always love their mums a lot and she could invoke that motherly love to help you call him to order sometimes.

No need to see this as a competition of who has more power or control over him. Mother and wife have distinct special places in a man’s life.Your mother in law does not have to be your enemy

6. It’s the logical thing to do

There’s nowhere in the world where it makes sense to pick fights, to openly or secretly disdain your man’s mum.

7. Karma

We’re big on Karma in these parts and no matter how enlightened or woke the society may be getting, it is still believed that you reap only the things you sow.

So, being great with your mother in law is like a foundation for having the best wife and mother-in-law relationship with your son’s woman when the time comes.

Respect

To be honest, many of the rules on how to win your partner’s mother over can be pegged under an important canopy word and that is ‘respect’.

In this context, the word is not limited to just its primary meaning which is synonymous with honour and being humble in your relationship with the older woman. Respect here is to be extended to cover concepts such as being accommodating, accepting and understanding.

As much as is reasonable, you want to accord the mother of your husband the reverence she deserves for the older connection she has with your man, and also because many times, men usually have special ties with their mothers. You need to respect that.

That many sons have a special connection with their mums is one reason why you should try to respect the older woman.

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There’s no need to make a mockery of that bond by trying to set up the man to pick between you and your mother-in-law. Sometimes, this is usually unavoidable, but be fair enough to ensure that this is not as a result of your disrespect or some other devious shenanigan.

The role of your man in making sure this works

While some mothers-in-law are just darlings that make life heaven on earth for you and pretty much know their place, some are obviously not. And it is on the premise that there are six of these disruptive ones out of every 10 that this piece is being written.

So in realization of the fact that some mothers-in-law are going to be difficult for just no just cause, it is important to talk about creating a support-system for yourself in your man.

You need to know where your man stands on the possible conflicts that may happen between his mum and his woman. This is actually one of the awkward but necessary conversations to have with your man before marriage. You need to gauge his level of understanding of this potential power tussle and what his stance is on how best to handle the situation.You need a supportive man who can be your cover in cases like this where his female family members are trying to stress you.

Ask him questions that show the limit of involvement allowed by his folks. It makes sense to specifically limit the question to his mother and gauge whether you are on the same page on the subject.

On the chance that you are already married without having the conversation and every of your mother-in-law fears actually materialize, you would still need to have a conversation with your man. You need to let him know that he has your back and that he is on your side.

When his mum is one who tries to meddle too much and tries to disturb the balance of power in your marriage, your man is in the best position to talk about it. So channel your worries to him and let him do the right thing by having that conversation with his folks.

Even it means involving his dad or some other senior figure that the woman listens to, heeding your worries and protecting you and the marriage from this particular disruptive, external influence is his responsibility.

Every woman deserves a man who takes this as serious as they should.